Friday, June 17, 2011

Damien's Notebook: Entry 5 and Entry 6

I apologize for not updating when I said I would. So much has changed since Tuesday. I may be abandoning this project, for Judith's sake. I can't risk her life over that damn notebook.

I arrived home after the visit with my family only to find a note on the door from Judith. She's had a key to my apartment for the longest time, and I've always told her she's always welcome. The note simply stated she had stopped by in order to play my Xbox, to steal some lemonade, and to "borrow" the notebook.

I cannot remember a time I have ever arrived at her parents' house more quickly than I did on Wednesday.

Judith answered the door, chipper as ever. She smirked at me, asked if I'd missed her that much. In hindsight, that happiness and that smirk frighten me. I asked her where the notebook was, and she became quite apprehensive. She didn't think I'd miss it since I was at my family's house, and she wanted to read it. She apologized. I hugged her. We were okay then. I then did all I could while I was there to keep her distracted from the notebook.

Judith did, however, offer an experiment I couldn't pass up. As she said in this comment, she'd never encountered the same pages I had. I even showed her the ones I've transcribed that I have no intention of posting, and she'd seen none of them either. Curious, we decided to open the notebook to a single page and both write down its contents.

The results are terrifying. All this time that I've been reading one thing, she's been reading another. Looking at the same page at the same time, we both found two entirely separate entries. And Judith's...

I'll start with my own.


I still miss Why I don't Even a month later she still fucking hurts me. I know its my fault. If I had just inherited a little less of my mom's cuckoo I'd never have driven her off. But that isn

I still smell her sometimes. Apple shampoo in her black hair Goddamnit I don't blame her but we could've made it work. But nooo she "couldn't be bothered dealing with my crazy" while she was doing other things. Fucking bitch move. Fucking

You know? Fuck it. I'm gonna take Ted's offer.  Done sitting around pouting in my room. Done that all month. Party tonight, drink my love for her away.


Never again. I can hardly remember last night One big blur. What I do remember how gentle and warm and but never again. Not getting drunk again and now. Fuck I have to talk to Ted about this. Fuck."

Judith, instead, transcribed the following. Different date, different entry, different style of writing... She even says the ink was a different color. I saw purple, she saw red.


You see, the greatest asset one can have in fighting this beast is lack of fear. If you do not fear death, it cannot harm you. If you do not fear losing those you love, it cannot harm you through them. If you do not fear the unknown, it cannot harm your mind. If you do not fear change, it cannot harm you by changing your life.

Far too many look at this creature in terror when the correct response is some mixture of awe and disgust. It is a beautiful predator, and so very good at what it does. It devours entire lives without a second thought. It strangles them in its grip without a hint of remorse. It is also a predator that only kills the weak. Even the seemingly strong ones it hunts eventually reveal themselves as spineless and pathetic in the end. A truly magnificent killer hunts worthy prey. This one hunts the unworthy. All of that potential wasted.

What if there is a way to cage the beast? What if it can brought under will? What if it can be tamed? This idea is that which drives me. This idea is the foundation of who I am.

I know of a man who may have the tool I seek to accomplish my goal. I believe it is time I pay him a visit."

I'm not stupid. I know who this is. I listened to Kiera. Judith didn't. I asked her how many other entries she had read were written in red. Her answer:

"All of them."

Judith and I talked. For the briefest moment, her serenity cracked and she begged me to help her. She was terrified of what she'd been reading, and yet she couldn't stop. I've bought a steel box. I've bought a padlock. I have the number memorized. It's written nowhere. I need time to decide my next move.

I won't let anything happen to Judith. I just have to figure this out. I will figure this out.


  1. Too little, too late.

    I'm sorry for Judith.

  2. I need to disagree, Maduin. Where there's a will, there's a way.

    What we have here is a good old fashioned case of book-bound hell. I'm going to bet you dollars to dimes that if you try chucking it out the window, it'll just boomerang back in. Maybe not immediately, but it'd somehow find it's way back on your doorstep. Don't even think that your box will hold it. It NEVER WORKS.

    Find Kiera and Skhisma, and get more specifics on this hellish abomination. Chances are, at least Kiera will talk. Kiera doesn't strike me as the type to toss live hand grenades at people unless she's got a good reason. No offense Alex, but with your recent conduct I can understand why someone with low impulse control might toss a hand grenade your way. Still, I don't think she'd do this to Judith. There's no motive behind it. With any luck, they know something helpful. Skhisma gave it to you for a reason: to fuck your day up. Kiera might be willing to act on Judith's behalf.

    And if they won't help?

    I think the only way you're getting rid of this thing in a way that could save her, is by giving it a crazier, more dependent target that will latch onto it for dear life.

    Therefore, give the notebook to Brett.


    1: Son of a bitch has it coming to him.
    2: He's locked up in a cell behind maximum security bars that Judith can't get into, and the guards won't allow him to exchange goods with the outside world except in special circumstances. Furthermore, there would be a record of visits if Judith DOES disappear, so you'd know where she went very quickly.
    3: He's already Slendy Bugnuts, and separated from the other prisoners on count of being totally insane. You will isolate the notebook from damn near everyone.
    4: The son of a bitch has it coming to him.

    That said, if you do this, DO NOT LET JUDITH KNOW WHERE THE NOTEBOOK WENT. You're going to have to give her the mental version of heroin detox. It's like the normal version, but with more paranoia, and oh so much more ice-cream-and-movie nights.

    That said: Good luck. Glad to see you're coming to your senses.

  3. that's actually pretty awesome. Do what Nick says.

    Nick is the man with the numbers and good advice.

    And don't do something retarded like lock it away or throw it in a river.

  4. I never intended for this. I only thought it'd help you understand what you've become a part of. I thought it'd be best if the full story was told.

    I knew there was the danger of TheArsonist appearing, but never like this. It never acted in such a way while Kiera and I possessed it. I never imagined what it was actually capable of.

    I'm sorry, Judith, for what I've indirectly done to your mind. Stay strong. Keep away from the notebook. You can do this.

    I'm sorry, Alex, for sending you something so dangerous without thinking. However, you only have one option right now.

    Burn it.

  5. Oh great. This is just what I needed to find. Another person drawn into my dead brother's insanity. This is absolutely great. When are you people going to learn to leave well enough alone?

    Alex, you seem like the rational sort. There's a psychiatric facility near you. You may recall that my mother was staying there before she died of a heart attack. Perhaps the best course of action is having Judith go in for evaluation? You should do what you can to stop these delusions before they progress any further.

    And you seem to be seeing things as well, considering this "infinite notebook". Maybe you should get yourself checked out as well.

    Finally, if it IS my brother's notebook (which, I assure you, it was not infinite when I looked through it), Kiera and "Skhisma" must have stolen it from the police. I believe the authorities would be most interested in this information.

  6. "Rick". You're still using the name of a man so many times your better in order to try and give your words more meaning? You're still trying to cast doubt and misinformation on Damien's story so you and your little club can keep playing in the shadows?

    I know who you are, "Rick". I remember how Wilcox always gave you so much extra attention. You were always Matthew's favorite. I seem to recall how he'd sometimes take you away for "private lessons". I can only imagine what that bastard did to you, and yet you embraced it. Look at you now: Leader of the faded remnants of an old, dead religion.

    And just like I know you, "Rick", you know me. You know what I'm doing. You know what I'll keep doing. Now stop playing your games, stop soiling a good man's name, and start running.

  7. Oh, so Rick hasn't been taking any government jobs? Interesting.

    But seriously Rick, one moment you're saying the notebook is a hallucination, the next you're calling it stolen property?

    Of course, this Keira individual does seem rather dubious.