Damien's Notebook: Entry 4

I'm starting to think I may be in a bit out of my depths. Between what was discussed in the comments last night and what I just transcribed, I'm concerned. Not about the notebook, but about its contents. If this monster is as real as Damien says, if it is capable of what is described below and it comes after me and my loved ones like it did his, I... I don't know what I'd do. Reading this journal, I'm amazed that Damien was able to hold everything together, but I've also seen him at his very lowest,  begging for death as everything was taken from him. All the things he described on his blog and in this notebook (There are entries in here that are incredibly graphic, even compared to this one) are unbelievable. Yet Damien believed every bit was happening, and so does Kiera, and so many others. I can't help but wonder if I've been dragged into something far beyond what I imagined.

Still, this book, this work that I'm transcribing right now, is everything. The journal and my story about what happened in April and May are my chance at making it. And I need to make it now more than ever... I don't expect you people to understand.

I found this entry today. It's a follow-up to Entry 2 and it's... just read it. 

"8/11/10

I remember now. Saw that thing on the news watching me from that house and it was like pieces falling into place. It was like the memories were always there. I knew it should be but I wasn't ready. TheArsonist mentioned it when I spoke with mother but to actually remember it?

This can't go on the blog. Just here. Where I can see it. Where I can remember.

I was seven. Ted, Emily and I had snuck out. No idea where the babysitter was. She could've stopped this. No, not her fault. It was my idea. If I'd never told them to come with me into the woods that night we'd have never seen it rip and tear and mangle and destroy

I don't know how we got there. We'd seen it before, but it was always locked. The great green door was always locked. Except for that night when we went inside. Everything would be different if that door was locked, if I'd not insisted on going in. They'd all be alive. We'd all be alive.

Don't remember much inside. It was dark and light at the same time. All I know is the others wanted to go back but I kept pushing us forward. It was me. I lead our trip into the woods. I took us into the building. I was the one who had to explore. It's all my fault. All my fucking fault. They're all dead and it's my fault and if I just (I find it worth noting there's a few small spots on the page here. I honestly think they're from tears)

I'm okay.  I have to be okay. Fuck this. I have to write this down. In case I forget again.

We found ourselves in this room lit by fires held in large, gold bowls. We were on a balcony, overlooking a small room. I remember symbols on the wall (Here Damien drew four symbols, one is the inverted triangle with a cross from this picture, one is the so-called "Operator's symbol", another is a small man with no face, and the final one is three jerky horizontal lines, likely meant to resemble water). And then it was there, below us with these two kids and God he had a baby. Those sick fucks gave him a baby My own goddamn parents

And then he just started tearing them apart. Emily and Ted were crying, covered their eyes, looked away. I couldn't. I watched him pull bones out of a girl and force his tentacles into where they were. I saw him pluck each tooth from the boy's mouth before tearing his jaw off. I the baby was just destroyed. Tiny limbs and head and blood everywhere. Totally destroyed. And I watched and listened the whole time, heard him sing that terrible fucking song of life cut short. I can still hear it. A decade later, a decade of forgetting and now that I remember I can hear it like its yesterday.

He covered that room in those kids, in their organs and blood and skin and then he stopped and all I could think was how monstrous and terrifying and beautiful he was and for some fucked up reason some little piece of me wondered what it would be like to control all that power. At that moment, he looked at me. My brain caught fire. I screamed. I felt Ted and Emily grab my hands and pull me away.

And that's it. I just remember being at home after and my parents yelling at me for running away.

My life changed in one night. All of this set in motion in one night. And every bit of it my fault."