Quick Update

Don't know why I care if you know these things. Whatever. At this point, you're all in this story too.

Natalie called me. Brett broke into her room and they spoke. She claims he wasn't nearly as insane as he was the last time I saw him. In fact, he apparently broke down crying. I don't understand why, but as long as he's out of my hair, I don't care. I just want the bastard gone. I don't care how. If it means he's sobbing on his ex's shoulder, more fucking power to him.

There was another death. It was the youngest person thus far. Everyone else up to this point has been at least in their mid-20's, sometimes older. This was a kid, only a few days over fifteen. They found her body in the river, covered in stab wounds. There's apparently evidence that the girl resisted. For the first time, the police claim to potentially have DNA evidence to prove who's commiting these murders.

Damien's only gotten away so far because proving he's guilty through a blog like this proves that their little cult exists. That, and he's a bastard to find. Where the hell do all these insane people stay? Brett, TheArsonist, Damien... They're all never there until they want to be.

TheArsonist left another comment. Fuck it. It keeps calling my damn cellphone, sending me e-mails, and now it's back to leaving public comments. I honestly don't feel like dealing with it's shit anymore. I'm nearly ready to get it out of Judith and back to where ever it crawled out from. We'll see who has the last laugh.

I just have to wait for my turn to come back around. Then, I make my move.

I met with him yesterday. I didn't plan on it. I've been much too busy waiting to here back on some things I've set into motion, too busy preparing for the next moves in this game. Kiera's the one who let him in. I'd have gotten upset, but this is her place. She was kind enough to take me in during all of this. The last thing I'd do is make things difficult for her.

Skhisma came back to my room, shut the door, and we spoke... or argued. Whatever.

"Damien."

He shook his head, "Please, I'm not Damien."

"Again with this bullshit?" I said, rolling my eyes, "If you aren't Damien, who are you, then?"

"I'm just his legacy."

"What the hell is that even supposed mean?"

"I'm what's left of Damien's life. I'm here to finish what he started, and then I'm gone," Skhisma looked down at the floor. His voice was quiet. I must have been cutting deep. I pressed the blade further.

"So... how many have you killed now?"

He paused. I noticed his hands. They were shaking. "Fifteen."

"Why? Why kill all these people? I can understand you believe they're part of this cult, but is murder really the best option?"

His hands were perfectly still. Skhisma looked up at me with those dead eyes, a frown upon his lips, "It's the only way. They have complete control of this town. They can do anything they want here, and they get away with it. I'm making sure what happened to Damien never happens to anyone else ever again."

"How many more?"

"Two. Just two."

"Ri--"

"Peter," Skhisma interjected, his hands turned to fists now. Having been around Brett, I know what it's like to be around someone filled with malice. Skhisma gave off more with that one word than the MaleOrderMan ever did, even in our confrontations, "His name is Peter. Do not use Rick O'Connor's name as his."

"I'm sorry. I know what it's like to lose family," I tried to sound sympathetic. I honestly did. I tried to make it seem like I cared about his life, his problems. He saw right through it.

"Don't lie to me. You aren't sorry, Alex. You don't care about anyone other than yourself."

"I care about Judith," I growled.

"Yes, so you say..." Skhisma watched my reaction. I wanted to smash his face into the wall. I wanted to make him bleed. I wanted to let out all my anger on him. I'm too smart for that, though. He's killed fifteen people. I had no advantages. No point getting into a conflict I couldn't win. "You care about her more than anything else, apparently. Even more than your family, judging by how you reacted to their deaths."

"You're judging me by that post? I spent weeks grieving. I--"

"I told you not to lie to me, Alex. Kiera told me how you spent that time. She says you didn't shed a tear. You hardly even reacted. Your family is killed, and you just keep plotting and thinking you can handle everything. You're broken, Alex. You won't admit it, but all these things that have happened to you have changed you for the worse."

"No. I--"

"You're getting everyone close to you killed. Mary, your family... who else has to die, Alex? Natalie said you contacted her. You brought her back into this. What will you do if she dies? Am I next? Judith?"

I felt myself trembling in rage. I couldn't speak. I couldn't.

"Just like Damien, you're losing everything. Don't become like him, Alex. Don't become like me."

"Get out," I said under my breath, "Get the fuck out."

He gave me one last look with those damned dead eyes, turned, and left. I watched him from my window as he walked off into the night. That's when I saw it. That's when I saw the creature Damien and so many others have written about. It stepped out from under a streetlight, and slowly followed after Skhisma. I watched at it as it moved, lurching gracefully... Until it stopped.

And it turned.
And it looked right at me.
And my head was filled with pain.

I ran to the bathroom. I took as many pain pills as I safely could. I splashed cold water on my face. I saw myself in the mirror.

Why do my eyes look so much like his?

I've changed the password. TheArsonist won't ever login again, won't ever leave any more messages. It was too stupid to actually change the password. It didn't even consider that I was stronger than it believed. By the time I'm done with whatever the hell TheArsonist is, it won't be able to make such an idiotic mistake ever again. It thought I would break. It thought it could stop me and turn me into a pitiful, whining wreck. It was wrong. It was dead wrong.

It truly thought I'd just give up on Judith. It thought that just because I took some time to recover, I was done. TheArsonist has no intelligence; only foolish, preening arrogance. It assumed that it was better than me, that just by using Judith to commit its depravity that I would give up, and that was its plan's fatal flaw. TheArsonist is nothing to me. TheArsonist is a weak thought that took up residence inside my love's body. First mistake.

I refuse to grieve here on this blog. I'm not going to get angry either. I would love to get angry, but no. I refuse to let TheArsonist get off on my emotions and my reactions. That's what it wants. That's what it lives for. No. I did my grieving in private. I will quiet my rage. For the nearly three weeks I stayed alone, mostly in my borrowed room, coping and coming to terms with my loss. During that time, I put together the funeral, contacted those who needed to know, and went through the process of having my family laid to rest.


I'm not going to give the details here. I'm not spitting on my mother's, my brother's, and Dean's names like that. I will remember them as they were, not as I found them when I finally understood, when I went home.

TheArsonist tried to break me. It used Judith and my family as a weapon against me. It thought I'd be gone after using one loved one to kill the others. Last mistake.

I only have one thing left now: Judith. To wrench her from the hands of that twisted thing and back into safety, sending TheArsonist into nonexistence for the final time, is the greatest revenge I can possibly perform.

This thing believes this is a game? Fine. I'll play. And I will not lose against a worm like TheArsonist.

My move.

Alex Went Home

And what a delightfully easy password he left here for me to bypass. Honestly, this boy and his sentimental affection for Judith is going to be his ultimate demise. I won't change the password this time around, like I did when I claimed Watch This City Burn for myself. There is simply no need for that with what I have accomplished.

You see, Alex is never coming back. I don't have to lock him out of this account for I have finally removed him from the board and thus brought myself one step closer to a clean slate and a clear path to my triumph. It's taken me far too long to achieve this. Alex's unwarranted self-opinion lasted quite some time as an effective shield against my machinations, but no more.

It took an impossible amount of time for him to understand what dearest Damien tried to make clear during their little unexpected rendezvous. Not even my own comment after forced the realization through his incredibly thick skull. Instead, it took a vast amount of e-mails and phone calls before I finally got him to listen to what Damien and I said. I finally made him go home.

Now that Alex is gone, all that remain are Brett, Kiera, "Rick", and Damien. I'm honestly quite surprised at the plans this boy has put together to be rid of the MaleOrderMan. I've looked at his e-mail address. You see, it wasn't Damien that Alex planned on meeting last week. It was... Oh, I don't wish to spoil the surprise. All I need to say is that what he has set in motion against Brett is a scheme that makes me understand why Judith was at all interested in the pathetic child. As for the others, all in good time.

It is now a question of what to do with this blog since I have permanent control of it. Perhaps I shall post precisely what I've been doing the past few weeks... Or perhaps I will allow it to sit here and rot as a testament to what arrogance and an attempt to force yourself into a world where you do not belong will lead you to. We will see.

-TheArsonist

Skhisma

I watched a man die yesterday. I know it's dangerous to post this here publicly, but everything is dangerous now. I can't walk out my front door without possibly getting killed or taken or any other of a number of terrific possibilities, so I'm done caring.

Things finally snapped last night. I was walking home that night after dealing with some business. I should have scheduled the meeting some other time, but it was the only one that worked for them. I needed to get this done. I need the table cleared so I can focus on saving Judith instead of other things.

I don't remember seeing where the guy came from. I just felt it as he bull rushed me, knocking me back into an alley. I stumbled, tripping over refuse before coming up to my feet again. I got a good look at my assailant. He was a man of average size, but that's not what caught my eye. That honor went to his police uniform, and to the gun in his hand. He was here to kill me.

The single moment I took to look around the alley for an exit revealed I had no choice but through the officer in front of me - The officer who had a gun drawn and aimed right for me. I could only come up with one possible out: Get him talking.

"I take it that Rick sent you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. I held my hands up, careful not to make any sudden movements. When someone has a gun pointed at you, you don't want to get them jumpy.

"Rick? The hell you talking about, kid?" His voice was that of a younger man, probably not much older than me. He was probably relatively new in the cult, then.

"Maybe he goes by another name... I think I saw Skhisma call him Peter once." I dared to take a half-step forwards. The officer was distracted enough to not seem to notice.

Instead, he just sighed and gestured halfheartedly with the gun, "Look, kid. I ain't gonna start talking. I was just told to get ya outta the way. The psycho didn't get it done, so now I gotta care of it."

"Peter was the one who let him out, then."

The officer sighed again, pointed the gun straight at me, and shook his head, "I ain't saying no more, kid."

I started rushing forward. This was how it was going to end: forced into a back alley and shot by a corrupt cop because I was stupid enough to go out at night, and then didn't keep my eyes open. But I wasn't going to just go down without a fight. I had to at least try.

I hadn't taken two steps forward before the gun went off. It must've had a silencer on it, since there it didn't make much noise. I flinched, only to realize the officer had missed. He was on the ground with another man on his back. I heard gurgling, that sickening sound of a person grasping for that final bit of air before it all goes black. Finally, the noise stopped, and the newcomer stood up and calmly walked over to me.

"You should not be out this late, Alex. Go home before more come," His voice was quiet, cold, and emotionless.

I took a chance, stepping towards him and looking him over. His eyes stood out more than anything else. They were just like Judith's when she was laying in my bed before TheArsonist... They were dead. "Skhisma, I take it."

His only response was a nod. Then, he started walking away. I followed him.

"So you are the one killing all of these people, then?"

Another nod.

"Why?"

He looked at me with those dead brown eyes and spoke with that passionless voice, "The cult must be eliminated. You now see why. Go home, Alex. I will not always be there to help you."

"Except I need your help wi--"

"Judith is gone," Skhisma interrupted. I remember nearly throwing a punch at that instant, only to recall what he had done just moments before to the police officer, "It would be in your best interest to stop Brett and then make TheArsonist less interested in you. This isn't your fight."

"Judith is not gone, you son of a bitch."

"I'm sorry. She is, and it's my fault. I wish I could do more, but I cannot. Go home, Alex. Let her go."

I couldn't stand it anymore. I grabbed him by his shoulders, forced him to stop and face me. There still wasn't a single reaction on his face, just that same dead stare. I met it and growled, "You beat it, Damien. Tell me how so I can help Judith do it too."

"Damien is dead, Alex."

"Oh shut the hell up. Don't give me that bullshit. You're Damien. You overcame TheArsonist. Tell me how or I swear to whatever god exists that I will make you tell me."

He just shook his head, "Damien is dead. That's how he beat TheArsonist. Now, Alex, go home." I felt a rag press over my mouth, I smelled the chloroform, and I woke up a few hours ago.

Fuck you, Skhisma. Fuck you.

Quiet

It's been quiet since last week. I just know this is the calm before the storm. I have four different potential threats moving in the shadows, and I can't keep track of all of them. Where is Brett? What is "Rick" doing? What is TheArsonist having Judith do now? Is that impossible thing going to make an appearance? None of them are talking. I have no idea what they could be doing. I just have to keep working on getting ready.

I do feel like I may have made a mistake coming to stay in this town. There's a constant feeling of being watched. It doesn't help that I do catch random people staring at me and following me through stores or down streets. Most often it's a cop, sometimes it's a business owner. At one point, what I can only assume was an FBI agent followed me into the park before I lost him in the woods. The stories of something bigger happening here, stories of a cult still desperately clinging to the illusion of validity and secrecy, feel true.

There's been yet another murder since I moved here. That's the ninth since around May. It's insane that there isn't more of a federal presence outside an FBI agent or two wandering about. We've hardly even received any national attention. I can only assume that someone's working hard at pulling the strings to cover things up.

I'm trying to talk Kiera into letting me meet him, the man who I'm damn sure is behind the deaths and who I also believe may be able to help Judith. She says Skhisma simply does what he pleases and she can't just call him up. I don't believe her. Still, this is me attempting to reach out.

Skhisma, I want a meeting.

Preparations

I've spent the past few days getting accustomed to my new lodgings, and getting ready for what I'm about to try and do. I made a lot of mistakes the past few months. I regret many of them, but I can't look to my old life and hope to take it back. Life doesn't work like that. You can only move forward. That's what I'm doing now: moving forward.

Perhaps the greatest mistake I made was not paying attention to other people. I've been reading the blogs. I started with those who have been commenting here and started working my way through as many as I could find. I still don't know who to listen to and believe, but any information is good information. I'm starting to get an idea of what is going on, and of what I need to do.

I've also been talking to a few people to try and get certain plans set in motion. In particular, I've been speaking with Kiera quite a bit since she left me a comment awhile back telling me to get in touch. She's still a bitch, but we have common goals. She wants Judith back as much as I do. I'm gonna need all the help I can get.

I will get Judith back. I'm done letting the events in my life destroy everything around me while I just walk through it like I have no other choice. I'm done being useless and letting everyone around me die because I do nothing. I'm better than that. I just have to prove it.